Mommy

Minutes after my post this morning, I recieved a frantic call from my dad. I can still hear those words echoing in my mind. "Mom is dead". Heh, I even asked him (and you have to know my dad to know my reasoning in asking this)"Are you fu**ing with me?" But I could instantly tell by the sound of his voice that he wasn't. My mom is in fact gone.

What do you do when your mom passes away for no apparent reason? The story goes like this. Mom wakes up and says she is tired and for my dad to turn on the coffee pot and start a fire. 20 min later he goes to bring her her morning cup of coffee in bed. She isn't breathing. In that short amount of time, she had left us.

How do you just not have a mother anymore? And why do things like this happen? If I had not seen her on the stretcher in the hospital (she was DOA) I would not believe it. Hell, I still barely even comprehend the fact that I can't pick up the phone and call her.

What do I tell my 2 year old son when he wants his "Lala"? He is too young to understand that his Lala has gone off to a better place. My heart is broken. Not just because of my own grief but for my family around me. For my daddy, who just lost the love of his life and partner in this world. For my grandmother who just lost her only daughter. For my son who lost an amazing grandmother who he loved so very much.

I guess all I have left to say is that I hope heaven is all that she expected as she stood strong in her faith. I am so glad that she is no longer in pain because she suffered tremendously from Rheumatoid Arthris.

In closing.... Momma, I love you.