Come on, walk with me...

Monday, December 22, 2008


Minutes after my post this morning, I recieved a frantic call from my dad. I can still hear those words echoing in my mind. "Mom is dead". Heh, I even asked him (and you have to know my dad to know my reasoning in asking this)"Are you fu**ing with me?" But I could instantly tell by the sound of his voice that he wasn't. My mom is in fact gone.

What do you do when your mom passes away for no apparent reason? The story goes like this. Mom wakes up and says she is tired and for my dad to turn on the coffee pot and start a fire. 20 min later he goes to bring her her morning cup of coffee in bed. She isn't breathing. In that short amount of time, she had left us.

How do you just not have a mother anymore? And why do things like this happen? If I had not seen her on the stretcher in the hospital (she was DOA) I would not believe it. Hell, I still barely even comprehend the fact that I can't pick up the phone and call her.

What do I tell my 2 year old son when he wants his "Lala"? He is too young to understand that his Lala has gone off to a better place. My heart is broken. Not just because of my own grief but for my family around me. For my daddy, who just lost the love of his life and partner in this world. For my grandmother who just lost her only daughter. For my son who lost an amazing grandmother who he loved so very much.

I guess all I have left to say is that I hope heaven is all that she expected as she stood strong in her faith. I am so glad that she is no longer in pain because she suffered tremendously from Rheumatoid Arthris.

In closing.... Momma, I love you.


So I have a morning routine... Kid wakes me up, I send him back to bed (2xs)Then I get up and start the coffee, stumble to the bathroom and wash my face. After that I venture into kiddie land and change a pullup. By this time coffee is done and I make that oh so amazing first cup, dish out breakfast, and sit down with my computer in my lap. Visit myspace, see if there is anything interesting going on, go do a little twittering, and make my way here.

If only the rest of my life were this simple and relaxed. Maybe i need a routine for everything. In fact I probably need to make a cleaning routine/schedule that way i dont forget anything and i actually do it all instead of saying I am going to do it. For instance, I ALWAYS clean my kitchen, probably a few times a day, after I put away the coffee, and after I do the dishes, and always after I cook. So the Kitchen.... is not a problem. But I need to develop a system to keep my bedroom, living room, well pretty much everyroom in the house in order. My husband likes to come home to a tidy house. And since I am just a housewife and a mother, I should be able to do that, and I just barely sqeek by which annoys him. He thinks that since i am home day in and day out that everything should be spotless, and i agree it should!

Any ideas as to actually getting it done?